I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
