We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
