Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
