Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
