Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
