So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
