I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
