i jhust puked up my retainher.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
