I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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