i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
