I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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