i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
