Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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