I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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