apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
