You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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