So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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