Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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