I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
