Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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