It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
