Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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