Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
