Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
