Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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