I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
