just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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