Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
