I am spending my child support on dildos
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
