You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I love you.
Bad choice
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