The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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