you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
