Got a toothbrush?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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