who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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