You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I would ride that face into the sunset
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
