dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
