my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
