both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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