We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
