She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
