Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
