I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
