I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
