FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
