you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
