it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
