just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
