The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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