Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
