I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
